Saturday, February 9, 2008

Rasputin's List

Rasputin has decided to look for bang buddy. So I go to decadent Western singles site called Craig's List. I find nothing of interest. Look at the quality of Western woman who advertises her "charms" here:

1. Hello.. I am looking for a nice man, that would hopefully turn into the love of my life. I have herpes, and have had it for a very long time.

2. Just give me all I want -45
I want A amazing gentleman who can appreciate a gal for who she is.

3. You will know if you are insecure, so don't bother to respond if you are one of the "majority" of men in Cal who are.

Be kind, considerate, over 35 no older than 45, like kids (i have 2!)i'm not looking to have any more kids, nor looking to get married anytime soon.

Contact me if you are intelligent, witty, up to date with fashion to some extent!! can email me with more than one sentence..CAN to eat in nice restaurants, hike, cook dinner together, BBQ.

Hmm, let's see how many insecure loonies i get replying!! LOL!!! one liners will just get deleted....mug shot please!!!!!

Rasputin thinks Southern California women are self-absorbed, diseased sluts. Very depressing way to try to find woman, but this seems to be the way they all do it.

Whatever happened to arranged marriage? Maybe I should contact this woman. I think she is married.

She just can't write.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Someone Married Her More Than Once

I'm not sure why the Craig's List Babe didn't just take a page out of Stacie Warren's book. Hell, just marry as many as you want. There's no bag limit and no risk of getting caught for conspiracy to commit murder.

Beauty and Brains - Gone Missing On Craig's List

Apparently, there are a lot of really stupid and desperate women out there.

Take this bimbo, for example. It's not bad enough that she looks like a Soviet housewife on a three-day bender, she was stupid enough to post an ad on Craig's List looking for someone to kill her lover's wife.

All the classy broads post on Craig's List, I guess.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Rasputin has found a new potion for extending sex-time. Is called Viagra.

Must tell Bar Slut about the wonders of this miraculous scientific breakthrough. Maybe then she will give Josef Stalin more cardates, even if he has IQ of seaweed and portfolio to match.

What good is money when no one gives her even one single ruble to open her legs?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Bar Slut's Guide For Picking Up Men

Ladies, not sure what to do when you eye that special man down at the end of the bar? Oh, he may not be Mr. Right but he's definitely Mr. Right Now. To land that dreamboat, here's a few pointers:

  1. Buy him a drink. Men never turn down free booze especially if it's a body shot.
  2. Walk by and drop something. It can be anything, from a book of matches to your birth control pills. The goal is to bend over so that he can see that sweet tramp stamp and the baby blue thong you picked up at Wal-Mart.
  3. Look sad and vulnerable. A lot of men love that weak woman crap. When he asks you what's wrong, make something up. Just don't be too dramatic or he'll think you're psychotic.
  4. Smile. I don't mean that booking photo smile. I mean that Farrah Fawcett, selling toothpaste smile. Men like it when you smile at them. Unless you're missing some teeth. Then consider just a closed lip smile but not a smirk as that makes you look like a total bitch.
  5. Show some cleavage. Ladies we all know that men are obsessed with breasts. It doesn't hurt to show a little cleavage and maybe a bit of the bra (assuming you're wearing one). The bra part only works if you're wearing one of the lacy ones. If you're sporting one of the industrial white ones, forget it. No one needs to see that, especially the guy you're trying to hook up with. However, all this means squat if your cup size is below a B.
  6. If you're sporting a mini, cross and uncross your legs. Men go nuts over that. I don't mean repeatedly like you're ADHD or have to pee. Just a couple of times. If you have cankles, then forget it. Actually, if you have cankles, why the hell are you in a mini to begin with? AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS,
  7. Take off your shirt. Yep, right there in the bar. He'll see all he needs to see before they throw you out and chances are he'll be right behind you.

So I wonder why this Englishman keeps coming here but never comments?

Is he afraid it will start an international incident?

Or is he just a lily-livered limey bastard?

Friday, January 4, 2008

A Spy and a Traitor To The Motherland

Looks like a member of the PEEPle's Party is visiting with relatives in Chicago:

Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : Illinois
City : Chicago
Referring URL

Either that or, as I have suspected for some time, there is a traitor to Mother Russia that pretends to be a friend of the Czar, but spies for those who plot against him.

Maybe it's time to expose him...

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A New Year

Well another year has come and gone. Time for some New Year's Resolutions. This year, I resolve to:

1. Have more sex.

2. Drink more booze.

3. Swindle more money.

4. Manipulate more women for the above.

5. Troll more sites pretending to be a benign presence when in reality I am looking for shit to cut-and-paste and send to my internet cybersex fuckbuddies in an effort to start more blogwars than ever before.

Some people, like an overripe limburger, are best used for landfill.