Ten Ways To Manipulate Unhappy Women...

1. Get them drunk.

2. Tell them they're beautiful, even when they could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

3. Meet them on Craig's List, car date them twice, then dump their ass.

4. Buy them jewelry.

5. Meet them in the blogosphere and ask them for revealing photographs.

6. Be yourself - talk dirty to them.

7. Lie.

8. Slip them a mickey.

9. Slip them the willy.

10. Become a perverted, drunken Russian priest and ingratiate yourself to the Czarina. Hell, it works for me...